More Firsts for Hope & Maggie

Wow, it's been over a week since I've blogged.  I have not had much time to sit and type.  So I'll do my best to get as much on this post as possible.

The other day, the girls saw on Disney Channel how to make popsicles. So I made some Sunny D ones. After school I offered it to all the kids. They LOVED it. I thought it was funny because they don't like to drink Sunny D, but they liked the popsicles.  :-)

We have been debating for a few weeks now about going to a theme park. We have passes to Busch Gardens & Sea World but we would need to buy them for H & M.  We can cancel our passes at any time because it just keeps renewing every month.  We are itching to get Disney passes again but we are not sure how H & M will do.  So we thought getting SW and BG tickets for them is a lot cheaper than Disney tickets.  IF they do not do well then it did not cost too much.  So we decided to go to Sea World.  We went with the expectation that it will be hard and that they might be over stimulated. Well they had a lot of fun.  Yes, it was hard. But mainly hard keeping up with 6 kids.  We saw the Shamu show (and all 4 of our girls had their cameras out taking lots of photos. Too cute.)  They went on their first roller coaster (Shamu's roller coaster) and LOVED it.  They went on a few other rides too and loved it.  They have Trick-Or-Treating on the weekends so they did that (another first). They loved getting candy.  We were there about 4 1/2 hours and we were all ready to go.

The girls are so excited about all of the Halloween decorations that neighbors are putting out.  They think it's neat.  We have some that we have inside and they love the lights that we put up.

After Sea World we decided to go to the pumpkin patch that we have gone to for over 10 years.  The girls got so excited. They have never been to one before (that I'm aware of).  They all chose a small pumpkin and we chose 1 big pumpkin. We have not carved it yet, but plan to soon.

Tiff got a bow & arrow and let the kids try to shoot it.  H & M LOVED this. Well they love anything that involves Tiff.  They are pretty good at it too.  Of course, makes me nervous.

Yesterday Hope & I were taking silly pictures on my phone. Maggie joined in. I snapped this photo. Then M went away upset. She told me Hope pulled her hair.  Yup! They are sisters. H pulled her hair because she did not like M invading our silly photos.

Hope went to the dentist yesterday. She was terrified.  She did not want to go.  I told her they were just going to clean her teeth.  She finally calmed down and did great. I knew she would if I was not with her.  They spent about an hour with her.  She let them take x-rays and also examine her teeth & clean them.  They said she has 2 teeth (her front teeth) that are decayed. We need to go to a pediatric dentist to see if we need to do a root canal or pull them.  :-(  She also has 3 cavities.  And she had a lot of plaque buildup.  Well, I know they told her to floss, because she is now obsessed with flossing. LOL  I love how she follows directions.  At least directions that others give her.  :-)

The girls are doing great. Their English is coming along great.  Hope is communicating  in English more than Maggie.  But Maggie is trying. I love watching them think before they speak.  They were so excited yesterday because it was one of their teacher's birthdays.  So they made her (drew her) a card.

Please pray for Hope as we will be starting the dental work.  Pray that it's not too much for her.

Thanks!!!!

A Lost Tooth & First Yard Sale!

Another first.....The dentist.  Thursday night Maggie complained her tooth hurt. So we took her first thing Friday morning and they said her tooth was infected so they had to pull it. She was so brave. I believe they just gave her some Novocain.  It was a baby tooth, so that is good.  But it was still a big tooth. Well last night she put it under her pillow. And this morning she woke up EXCITED. She had $1.00.  Bill said "where is your tooth?" She put her arms out and said "I don't know".  LOL  I loved seeing the excitement on her face.

A year ago we were participating in the community yard sale to help raise funds for Hope & Maggie's adoption.

And now, the girls are home experiencing their first yard sales.  They were so excited. They brought their own money too.  Hope was first to find something.  A math workbook.  She was so excited and said "Please-a Daddy???"  It was $0.50. How could we say no.

Maggie found some shorts that she can wear for school, and also a school book a math tablet and a BIG pencil.  I think the pencil was her favorite find.

Jadyn paid to get her hair wrapped.  She also used her own money.

The girls had fun today. We walked and they were tired.  It's so fun to watch them witness so many first. Who would have thought yard sales would have gotten the kids excited. :-)

When we got home, guess what Hope did?  She started doing her math book.  Yeah, this girl LOVES math.

Church & Homework

Sunday night was Hope & Maggie's very first time going to church to worship.  They have been going to youth group at church on Wednesdays. But they have not been to "big church" until Sunday night.  I was a nervous wreck.  You see, Hope talks LOUD!  And I was afraid she would just start talking.

Well this week the music was led by the youth. So Tiffani was up there singing. Hope & Maggie LOVE seeing Tiff sing.  And, the songs that we sang this week were songs the youth sing on Wednesday night. So Hope & Maggie were excited because they knew the songs.  They were singing and smiling and swaying back & forth.  It was precious.  Hope was good during the sermon, she even fell asleep on Bill lap.  Maggie was good, but bored.  They were polite to people who said "hello" to them. I think it made Hope & Maggie feel good that people said hello to them.  The highlight of the night???  Seeing the girls praising God.  Maggie was singing and lifting her hands.  Yes, I started to cry!

Sorry, but I did not take a picture of them at church. I so badly wanted to. But I did not.

Every day when the girls get in the van, they tell me "Mama yes homework" or "Mama no homework".  This is their way of telling me if they have homework or not.  If they said "Yes homework" I groan (and they laugh).  If they say "No homework" I cheer and they cheer too.  So we get home and immediately Hope says "Daddy...homework-a".  Yes, Bill is in charge of homework. Because it's math. And I'm clueless and the girls quickly figured that one out. LOL

This is usually where you will find the girls between 4:30-5:00 most nights.  I'm so thankful Bill works from home, because he is able to be home with them to help with homework.

This post-it is her scrap paper

Hope gets upset when Bill helps Maggie and not her

After I showed her what she looked like upset, she laughed

Maggie was excited that she finished her homework. 

The school called again yesterday and also sent us an email.  Here is the email that we received.  I'm so thankful that the school is showing an interest in Hope & Maggie. And wanting to teach the other kids about China.

I am writing to you because I have another service-learning idea that would fully revolve around Maggie and Hope, and I wanted your thoughts and feedback before I proceed.  My idea would involve teaching the student in their wheel group about China and then having the students create three ring binders for Maggie and Hope that included translations as well as phonemic and phonic exercises.  The students could also assemble a power point about China since they are learning about ancient civilizations in geography.

We replied to the teacher saying that we approve and to let us know how we could help.  Then she replied saying she has more great news. She has an 8th grade student who reads & speaks Mandarin and he is willing to help the girls.  Wow!!!!  God is So Good!!!!

Two Months!

Can you believe it?  The girls have been our daughters for 2 months.  Really?  How can that be?  Why does time go by fast once your kids are finally home? I mean it took forever for them to be part of our family, and now life is back in full speed.

So many first for the girls in these 2 months:
-knowing a mom & dad
-staying in a hotel
-on an airplane
-on a train
-having their own bed
-to ride a bike
-to ride a scooter
-to swim in a pool
-to go to church
-to go to school here
-to go to a friends house
-to see their mom scream at football :-)
-to see a big dog
-to learn about Jesus
-to know what family really means

I know there are more first that they have experienced in these short 2 months.  And I know there are still a lot more first that they will experience over the next few months to a year.

They are growing and learning daily.  Their English is coming along great.  Hope is now saying "I'm-a sorry" instead of just "sorry".  Hope knows her ABC's and is learning how to spell.  They are learning friends names and making friends.  They are using manners more and trying hard to act like everyone else.  Maggie is coming out of her shell. She's actually a crazy girl. Full of spunk and energy. She loves to be silly and make us laugh.  She also wants to learn and is eager to try her English.

Two months is a short time. But so much has happened.  I'm so excited we listened to God's call and decided to adopt both girls.  I do wonder what life would be like if we had only adopted one. But I feel that we would have felt like part of our family was missing.  Even though Hope & Maggie were not best friends in China, or possibly not even close friends in China, they have bonded and are a pair now.  Just like Abby & Jadyn are a pair.  All 4 girls get along well but there is something special between Abby & Jadyn and Hope & Maggie.  So thankful they have each other.

And.....NO, Ethan will not be getting a brother.  Yes he has said "I want brother" but I think that's only if someone puts it in his head.  He is happy being the only boy. Because he gets everyone's attention and he also does not have to share his room or any of this toys.  :-)  Ethan is very happy.

Look at how much Hope & Maggie have changed in appearance in 2 months.  God is So Good!

Gotcha Day 8/6/12

1 Month 9/6/12

2 Months 10/6/12

A Fun Post

What do you get when you have 4 girls and 1 boy?  You get 3 girls and 1 boy having a tea party:

And 1 girl doing her homework.  Because, after all, homework is more important than a pretend tea party (at least to Hope)  LOL

And guess what Maggie stumbled upon???  The dress up clothes.  She's been home 6 weeks and has just now discovered the bin of dress up clothes.  I could hear the angels singing....Maggie was in dress up heaven.  The pictures show how happy she is.  Have we said what a "girly-girl" she is???

Some new words that we have been hearing the past week or two:
-Daddy, COOL!
-Come Here
-What you doing?
-Yummy (looking at what I was making for dinner)
-Computer
-I don't know
-Okay

Hope had her EKG today. Praise God it looks good.  Unofficially no signs of a heart murmur.  She did GREAT!  Just she & I went and she was calm and did not cry.  It was a good bonding moment for us.  She wanted to hold my hand the whole time.  I enjoyed every moment.

Hope also sat on the computer with Abby for about 45 minutes.  Very calm. Abby was helping her.  And when it was time to go to bed, Hope came into Abby's room and said "Abby thank you computer". This is a FIRST!  Hope has not had real contact with Abby or Jadyn.  Praying that this will continue.

Until next time.....Thanks for praying.

Adopting the Older Child (My Thoughts)

While we were in China, I said I wanted to do a post on older child adoption vs younger child adoption.  And honestly I just have not had the time to think or write it out.  So, I’m attempting to put my thoughts down now. I don’t know how long this will take me.  I could get it finished in one sitting.  Or it could take days. Right now I have some “quiet” time so I thought I should get started.  

We have been blessed to have added children to our family through birth & adoption.  We have also been blessed to have adopted the “younger” child and the “older” child.  So I have the experience (if you will) of raising a child from birth, from the age of 1 and 2, and now starting at the teen years.  And trust me, each child has been different.  Both challenging and rewarding.  

When Bill brought up the idea of adopting an older child, I immediately said NO. I was scared.  Could I love an older child?  Could they love me?  How would this affect our family?  

Then finally one day the idea did not seem so scary.  I talked to several friends who had adopted an older child. I wanted them to be honest with me and tell me the good & the bad. I did not want them to sugar coat their experience. I wanted to be as prepared as I could be.  

Then something crazy went off inside of me and I thought “how hard could adopting 2 older girls be?”  I meant it in every possible way: financially, emotionally (for us & the girls) etc.  I was told that if we were serious, then we should try to find 2 girls who are together in the same orphanage.  It’s funny, because after we were matched with the girls, someone said they heard it’s easier to adopt 2 at the same time who do not know each other.  

Adopting Hope & Maggie has been COMPLETELY different in a lot of ways than when we adopted Abby, Jadyn & Ethan.  There have been “easier” moments and “harder” moments.  

Coming from someone who has adopted 2 from the same orphanage, I have to say I think this is a good idea.  The girls already knew each other. They knew each others likes & dislikes. They knew how each other “thought”.  They knew what to expect from the other one.  Even though I feel that sometimes they are not happy they were adopted together, I know that deep down they are happy.  And the reason I think they were not happy, is that they felt they were not sisters. Because they knew they did not come from the same birth mom.  (they told us this). Once we explained that they are sisters, their attitudes towards each other changed. They started to act more like sisters than friends.  

I said adopting the older child has it’s easier moments.  Here are a few that to me were easier:

-NO DIAPERS!!!!  

-They can bathe themselves (even though the 1st night they did ask for help)

-They can dress themselves

-They can feed themselves

-They can walk, no need for strollers

-No need for the mounds of stuff you need for babies (diaper bag full of stuff etc)

-THEY SLEEP!  

-They can express themselves to us (this can be good or bad LOL)

-They can give hugs (if they want)

-They can go to school

-They can help around the house

-They can play with their siblings

-They are creative

-They do not need to be watched 24/7

-They can eat what we are eating; no baby food/formula 

Here are some of the challenges with the older child adoption:

-They speak their mind

-They express their opinions (I know, this should be a good thing, but not when their opinions are always something negative

-They can run off (and they (well one of them) did

-Their temper tantrums are more difficult to control than a toddlers

-They are heavier so when they do want to be picked up it kills your back LOL

-They behave a lot younger than their age

-Parenting a 13 year old who acts 5 is hard

-Language, a big challenge. But one we are working on and it’s getting easier

-Affection; they did not know hugs & kisses.  

-Culture shock; Lots of bad habits that needed to be broken

  -spitting, pulling down pants to relieve herself wherever she felt like it etc

-In China, hanging out in the hotel room is hard.  Boredom sets in fast. With a toddler you can have nap time.  With a teen, not so much (even though we did get a few naps out of them)

-Rules; something they did not want to follow. So we had struggles (and still do sometimes)

-Learning to be part of a family.  This has been hard for 1 of our girls.  

Would I recommend older child adoption?  ABSOLUTELY!!!!  Yes it was scary. But honestly my heart breaks for these kids.  They are just kids, who need and want a family to love them.  Seeing where our girls came from makes me SO glad they are home. I’m so thankful my heart softened and we took the leap of Faith.  Yes, there have been challenges. Yes I have wanted to pull my hair out several times.  BUT, when they give me a hug, or say “I love you mommy”, and smile when they see me, well thats all I need to turn my frown upside down. 

Would I recommend adopting 2 at the same time?  2 months ago I would have said No Way!  Double Trouble.  But....now that we have been together for almost 2 months, and things are starting to feel “normal” (or at least what our new normal feels like) then yes, I think adopting 2, from the same orphanage, I would recommend. (because that is all I know). They have each other, they are not alone, they can talk to someone, they can relate to them, they won’t feel different.  I was scared sending the girls to middle school.  But I would have been terrified if I was sending just 1, alone, to middle school.  Knowing they are together gives me peace.  

Adoption is hard.  No matter what age, or how many you adopt. We have adopted 5 times. And each addition has been a challenge.  All different challenges. But challenges we have worked through.  Some took 6 months, some 12 months, some 18 months.  And of course (even before Hope & Maggie came home) we still had challenges.  But, don’t we all have challenges?  Not just adoption related.  But Life related?  I’m so thankful for my friends who “get it”.  Because they understand why I want to pull my hair out some days. They understand why I want to just cry in a room alone.  And they also understand the joy we receive with a hug or smile that we did not think we would get so quickly etc.  We’ve been told “you are saints”, “you are good people”, “I could never do what you have done” etc.  Well, we do not feel like saints, or “good people”, and I want to say “Why can’t you do what we’ve done?”  We are just normal people. People who love the orphans. People who, did not want a large family, but now have a large (and loud) family.  We are normal people who listened to the Call.  We were chosen to parent all 6 of our kids.  I am thankful that God chose us. I question sometimes why He felt we would be good parents for 6 kids LOL.  But I can not see my life without all of them.  Yes, we have our moments. Yes, I’m always tired.  But I would rather be tired, with a house full of kids who love me and need me.  These are kids who needed a family, kids who needed to feel love. Kids who will hear about Jesus.  Kids who have a future now.  Yes, adoption is hard. Yes, adopting the older child is hard.  But it is also SO very rewarding.  Not only for the child, but for us also.  

If you have thought about adopting the older child, PLEASE email me or leave a comment for me to reply to you. I would love to talk to you about it.  If you have thought about adopting in general, PLEASE email me.  I love to talk about adoption, I love to tell our story. I love to advocate for the kids who are waiting.  

Thank you for following our journey.  The journey is not over.  We still have so many first to experience with the girls.  Even though they are 12 & 13 years old, they have never experienced Halloween, Thanksgiving or Christmas.  I’m excited to experience their “first” holidays at home.  

Our Miracles from China.

School Pictures!

I don't think I need to write a long post today.  I just need to show you the school photos the girls brought home today.  They are SO proud of these photos and can't wait for Bill to add them to the wall with our kids school photos.  Just think, 8 weeks ago these girls were scared and their whole life changed forever.  Now look at them.  God is So Good!!!!

P.S. These photos were taken 2 days after they started school.

Hope age 13

Maggie age 12