Tuesday, January 22, 2013

How are we doing?

Time is flying by. We are about to finish our 6 months post placement report to send to China.  How is it possible that we've been with the girls for almost 6 months?  We have seen huge changes in the girls in the past 6 months.  I'm so amazed.

Hope is trying.  She still struggles with toddler behavior.  BUT, she is trying.  Her toddler tantrums do not last up to an hour anymore. And they are not as frequent.  The other night she had one, and it lasted about 10 minutes.  We have learned to ignore this behavior.  When we do, they do not last as long.  When she is finished with her tantrum, she comes to us and says she's sorry.  Then she is happy again.  Hope is a beautiful girl, but she does not think so. She is struggling with her past and trying to accept that we think she is beautiful. She has told us that she is NOT a princess because she does not like to wear dresses.  We keep telling her that she is a princess.  And she is beautiful.

We have started the dental work for Hope.  She had a root canal, extraction and tons of fillings last week.  They had to put her to sleep for this.  That was scary for me.  They had Bill hold her and me distract her while they put the needle in her hand.  All of a sudden the doctor said 'hold her head, she'll be out in 6 seconds".  And she literally collapsed into Bills chest.  I wanted to cry.  Two hours later she was waking up.  She kept saying "I was good. I did not hit doctor".  (we told her not to when she woke up.  LOL).

We have met with a Craniofacial doctor who wants to do more work on her palate, and also do jaw surgery. She said plastic surgery on her nose will come later.  But she thinks Hope should see a Psychologist because she is already asking for it to be fixed.  We need to deal with her low self esteem issues first.  We have an appointment with the ENT to have her ears checked.  She has been complaining lately that she can not hear us.

Maggie is opening up a lot. She is one crazy, funny, hyper girl.  She loves to be silly and dance.  She & Jadyn have bonded and as much as I like seeing this, Abby is now being left out.  And so is Hope.  So we are trying hard to make sure nobody is being left out.  Maggie has stopped mothering Ethan like she used to do. She did not like him at first because he would not let her baby him.  Now she is turning into the older sister role and helping him without mothering him.  Maggie loves to make friends.  She said the other week a boy asked her to be his girlfriend.  She said "I no likea boys".  LOL  good for her!  Maggie is a big helper and loves to clean.

Adopting the older child is hard. But it's also exciting.  Even though the girls are 12 & 13, they are still growing and learning what it means to be in a family.  It's awesome to see how their roles in our family have shifted.  They both feel comfortable with us.  So comfortable that they talk back to us and tell us no (this is why Hope was upset the other night, because she got in trouble for talking back).

I look back at photos we've received of them from the orphanage, and I look at them now, and they look like two completely different girls.  They thought they were happy in China.  Well they tell us they are really happy now.  Hope has said she does not want to know Chinese. She only wants to speak English.  And she won't talk Chinese.  I believe she is trying to put her past behind her and move on.  Maggie does not speak Chinese either and I think she is also forgetting.  She has said she does not want to go back to China. But she misses her friends.

So after almost 6 months, I am starting to feel normal.  Six kids is exhausting.  I still can't believe we have six kids.  I look at them all and see miracles.  Even our bio daughter is a miracle to us.  They are all gifts from God.  And I'm trying my best to be the best mother to them.  Some days are hard.  Some days I want to run and hide.  And then we have the days when everyone is happy, nobody has gotten hurt, and we can all enjoy each other.

So how are we doing?  We are doing good.  Settling in.  Still learning. Still bonding. But we're doing good.

Until next time....